Mates
by 1seddiefan
Summary: Seth realizes that his guinea pig, Helena, might be a bit lonely, so he thinks about getting her a mate. While he thinks about this, he can't help but mention the ship wars that takes place in Catering. Seth thinks about the ship war, he decides that he will by Helena a friend anyway. One-shot.


A/N: I was reading online about guinea pigs, to make it more believable.

* * *

Seth petted Helena's back, she was making a weird bubbling sound. She looked lonely in the cage, so he decided that maybe she needed to roam around the hotel room.

Seth wondered if Dean and Roman would allow him to get a male guinea pig so Helena can have babies.

The door to the hotel room opened and Seth's two friends walked in. Dean was holding a bag.

"Well it's about time you came back. I was beginning to wonder if I should send out a search party for you guys," Seth said.

"It's not my fault that Dean takes two hours looking at sketchbooks." Roman replied sounding annoyed. "This one is too small, but has a lot of pages. This one is thin but has fewer pages. This one is right but the paper is thin."

"You think I'm bad? You should see Aunt Christine look at clocks," Dean replied. "It's a clock. Why do you need something that looks good? You're just going to check the damn time."

Roman rolled his eyes as Dean started rummaging through the bag for a sketchbook and he looked at Seth, who shrugged. "I think you pissed him off."

Roman stared, "How?"

"He's seems pissed," Seth replied. They looked at Dean whose busy drawing furiously on the sketchbook with a pencil. "Scratch that. He's pissed. What happened to him? Is he still mad that Kevin, Brie, and Sheamus grabbed his ass?" He thought about _the other reason_ that Dean could be pissed. "Is Blake okay?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah. He's fine."

"That's good," Seth said. He patted Helena and she started making the bubbling sound again.

"Your guinea pig is making noises." Roman said, eyeing the black and white rodent.

"She's purring," Seth replied.

Dean showed them the drawing of a volcano exploding. "That's how I describe my anger. If I could do a psychical thing to describe my anger, I would need three blocks and some dynamite."

They just looked at him and Roman looked back at Seth. Seth decided to voice his thoughts about Helena's loneliness. "So, I was thinking that Helena might be lonely."

"First, you bother me about my sex life. Now you're bothering your pet about her sex life?" Dean said and added sarcastically, "That's nice."

Seth couldn't help himself, "There are ship wars in Catering."

"We know," Dean replied. He ended up in the middle of the crossfire between the ship war of Rosa and Summer Rae and the one that was rooting for both of the two girls to go for Fandango, when all he wanted was to get something to eat.

Roman had told his story of how he ended up in a 'ship war' for Lana and Jack Swagger against Dolph Ziggler and Lana. He wasn't sure how that happened, he couldn't bash Dean's friend Dolph, but he couldn't say anything about Jack Swagger, since he didn't know him that well.

"If you think that's bad, you should see the war between you two," Seth replied. They just looked at him as Seth stroked Helena's fur. "One half is dead-set on you two just being good friends and the other half is dead-set on making the other half 'see the light.'"

Seth laughed at the look on their faces. "I'm not kidding. That one chick, Sasha, she draws art about you two." Dean looked distressed and Roman looked disturbed. Seth continued, "Charlotte writes stories about you two."

Dean replied sarcastically, "and the real edgy ones write porn."

"I think Becky Lynch is the one who does that," Seth replied.

"I wonder if Triple H knows about the ship wars that go down in Catering," Roman replied.

"He knows," Seth replied. "He finds it hilarious. Stephanie knows about the war between you two and eagerly waits for new chapters. That's why she sent Sheamus, Brie, and Kevin to get beaten down in those matches after accidentally touching Dean's ass. She believes they're getting in the 'way.'"

"God, I hope you're kidding," Roman replied. Seth shook his head in amusement.

Dean looked thoughtful, "What this tells me is that we all need to get a life."

"How did this conversation dive into the Catering Ship Wars?" Roman asked.

"Are we going to get your guinea pig a mate?" Dean asked, wanting to change the uncomfortable subject of being a part of Becky's stories.

"Yeah," Seth said.

* * *

Seth looked at the cage with the guinea pigs, trying to find one that might make Helena 'happy.' Dean, with a very annoyed look on his face, was texting someone.

"I mean, maybe I should get a mate for Helena later," Seth replied.

"We're already here," Roman replied. He was looking at the cage with snakes in it. "Hey Dean, come look at these snakes."

"Hey Roman, shut up." Dean replied, flipping him off.

"Can you not argue in the pet store? You're setting a bad example for the animals." Seth asked and Dean rolled his eyes. "Who are you texting anyway?"

"Paige," Dean replied, sounding annoyed. "She's bugging me to ask my aunt about giving Blake up for adoption so Paige can adopt him."

"What the hell?" Roman asked, sounding confused.

"I know," Dean replied.

Seth looked at the guinea pigs, trying to wrap his mind around Paige wanting to adopt Blake. "She's too young to adopt a fifteen year old."

"Why does she want Blake?" Roman asked.

"She's still on the whole 'I want my future son to look like Blake.' Now she wants to adopt Blake because her family wants him," Dean replied. He looked at Seth, "Can you hurry this up? Before I get mad and throw my phone against the wall?" He looked thoughtful, "Again?"

"I want to find a perfect mate for Helena," Seth replied.

"It's just a guinea pig," Dean replied.

Seth looked at Dean, "To you. I don't want Helena to be alone. What if Blake didn't exist?"

Dean had a mental image of him sharing a cell with his dad in prison and he shrugged. "I don't know, but I call bottom bunk." Seth and Roman looked at him, confused.

Seth looked at the guinea pigs and found one. It was a silver and white guinea pig.

* * *

Seth put the guinea pig, named Max, in the cage with Helena and he watched them closely.

"It's kind of creepy watching for them to go at it," Dean replied.

Seth looked at Dean to see that he was drawing something in the sketchbook. "What are you drawing?" Dean showed him the drawing of Seth looking like C-3PO, with the words Seth3-PO underneath the drawing. "Why do I have to be the stuffy British robot?"

Dean shrugged, "You're kind of stuffy."

Seth scoffed, "I am not."

"You kind of are," Roman replied. His arm was on the back of the couch, where Dean's shoulders are at.

Seth pointed at them, "That's not helping your cause."

"Shut up," Dean replied back.

* * *

A/N: I got the whole Ship War in Catering from a picture I saw that involved teachers shipping their students and having ship wars in the staff rooms. The English teachers write fanfics and the art teacher draws fanart. The gutsy teachers write teacher/students fanfics and the board of education awaits new chapters.


End file.
